Now that the (magic) dust has settled since returning from co-facilitating a 6 day men’s retreat in Montana, I feel compelled to share some of my main takeaways from the wonderfully rewarding, transformative experience.
Montana Is Wild And Stunning
Of course, I already knew this having visited Montana a few years ago, but it was nice to be reminded just how vast and breathtaking the scenery is, and easy to comprehend why Montana is nicknamed ‘Big Sky Country’. I was again humbled by the locals’ respect for the environment, brimming with wildlife, where nature seems to rule over civilization.
Transcending The Ego Is An Ancient Concept
We spent most of the week in our group coaching sessions focused on the ego. Each and every attendee soon learned that the reason they were there, and the change or answer they were seeking was dependent on the relationship with their ego. And this isn’t just a recent revelation popularized by modern thought leaders such as Eckart Tolle and Wayne Dyer, but in fact, the native American Indians of thousands of years ago would reference the ego using a “medicine wheel”, which describes our levels of perception, using directions on the wheel, similar to a compass.
If we are operating in the South, we are operating in the tangible, material realm, guided by our sense and the practical demands of daily life.
As we move clockwise to the West, our thoughts, beliefs and stories shape our perception of reality.
The North we are unshackled from the mind’s warnings in the West and overriding fight or flight impulses of the South.
In the East, represented by the eagle who flies above all obstacles, we are now devoid of the ego, and can expand our capacity for a bolder vision and deeper connection with our intuition.
Breathwork Works!
Each day at 7am, our host and founder of AVVI Experience - Christine Grimm put the men through a 75 min breathwork and guided meditation practice. I witnessed some incredible breakthroughs, including one of our men having a DMT induced out of body experience, similar to that of an ayahuasca journey.
Digital Detox Is Difficult But Liberating
We don’t realize just how dependent we’ve become on our digital devices until we take our access to them away. I was quietly embarrassed by how many times I found myself unconsciously reaching for my phone to Google something or check emails or Social Media.
This was an essential part of the retreat, to allow the participants quality silent reflection time, letting them process the coaching content, without the constant distraction of mobile phones and laptops. It even prompted some of the men to tap into their creativity through sketching and writing poetry.
Eating Clean Equals Mental Clarity
Another necessity for allowing the processing of information, thoughts and reflections was our completely vegan, alcohol-free nutrition throughout the week. By the last day I was feeling exceptionally energized, with super sharp mental clarity. It certainly helped having World Class chefs preparing the meals to the degree where it was barely noticeable that we weren’t eating meat, sugar or dairy.
Fly Fishing Is A Metaphor For Life
Firstly, shoutout to our hosts and guides from The Complete Fly Fisher for setting us up for the best possible experience and having near perfect weather didn’t hurt either. After practicing our technique on dry land, it was time to hit the glorious Big Hole River, and once in that boat, it’s like time stood still. As we floated purposefully downstream, engulfed by the raw beauty of the surrounding nature, the gentle, yet persuasive flow of the river demanded our skill, synchronicity, patience and unwavering presence for even the slightest chance of luring any of the slippery inhabitants from their watery lairs.
Just as in life, the combination of physical and mental aptitude, perseverance and repetition, going with the flow with no attachment to expectations, and a little bit of luck, resulted in a meaningful, joyful, and overall satisfying outcome. And yes I caught three fish…No we didn’t keep them out of respect for our scaly friends, but mainly as per Montana fishing laws.
Cold Plunging Is Better Together
From Day 1 it became our morning ritual to exercise together from 5:30am, then cold plunge for 3 minutes in the Big Hole River before the sun came up. Despite the dread, the hesitation, the moans and the groans, we got in that 40º F river together, and surrendered to Mother Nature while tapping into our collective energy of brotherhood.
Probably the favorite experience for most if not all came when we cold plunged while it was snowing on our 4th morning. It was extremely satisfying knowing how far we were all venturing outside our comfort zones for the sake of mental and physical wellbeing.
Birds Of Prey Don’t Play
It’s one thing to spot a bird of prey like a Hawk or Falcon majestically circling overhead, but it’s an entirely different, awe-inspiring experience to have one perched on your arm. On day 5 of the retreat, we were visited by falconry experts Paul and Anne of Montana’s Eagle Experience, who treated us to the rare and unforgettable occurrence of handling a Kestrel, Falcon, Eagle and an Eagle Owl. While undoubtedly regal, they also exuded an air of intimidation, supported by constant reminders from Anne to “not stare at the birds for longer than a second or two”.
The absolute highlight of the experience, and possibly the whole trip, was when we stood in a large circle with pieces of food on our heavily gloved hands, before taking turns having Malen the Falcon, when prompted, to fly to us and perch on our arms while eating its ‘treats’. As much as I wanted to stare deeply into Malen’s eyes in these moments to forge an unlikely kinship, thankfully I refrained, keeping everything on my face intact for my return to civilization.
Vulnerability Accelerates Trust
When a safe space is created and open sharing is encouraged, the results are extraordinary. While some of the men did happen to know each other (two of them were also brothers), the rapid progression of how open everybody became, and the deep connections that were forged was nothing short of remarkable.
Watching one man’s vulnerability give permission for the next to share openly from the heart was a gift, and a huge reason why I love this work, and remain committed to helping men crack themselves open to live their purpose, free of suffering, enhancing the lives of those around them in the process.